Bother, Bother, Bother, Bother...

Yeah, bother bother bother bother...

To my barkada, that's just a pitiful sign that you're bored.. bored.. or thoroughly still amused by the Potter Puppet Pals. But, I'll use that for something else.

Why bother?

With guys, I mean. Why do we..why do I still bother with them? They're weird, silly, strange, rude, mannerless, crazy, loud, sometimes callous...No matter how sentimental, how emotional or how close you think the guy or you think the guy is to you, they're still guys... guys who will always put video games first instead of keeping up good conversation unless its with a girl they like...I guess its not Yahoo!'s fault that guys can't see a girl's emotions. While they think a smiley is nothing, the girl is already pissed off, bored or crying on the other side.

Of course...it's not always like that...I dont know. In the end.. just what is it about guys that we girls like? I mean, is that what "opposites attract" really means??? If girls are after humor, sensitivity and love, they can get that from a girl, cant they? I mean, no malice or anything, okay, its just that.. girls can give that. But why do we bother to want guys to be the one filling it that gap for us? Its one of those everlasting mysteries of life, i suppose.

But it still sucks.

I guess its still that bitter rejection talking....

I don't regret it.. I shouldn't since regretting it wont change anything, I dont want to change the fact that I told him...and...so what if he might read this too? Its not like...its not like he cares.. well, in that way i mean.

Haha. Look at that, i have no idea what i'm saying again...That's why I dont want to think anymore. Not only to I not make sense...I depress myself.

Personally...for me.. perhaps the reason I'm still longing for that love being returned is because I've never really fully experienced love.. I mean, I've been in a relationship, yes.. but I suppose now that I think about it that we werent together long enough to really show each other just how much we loved it other that it eventually just desipated. Since then, I probably long for that chance to feel it...but who knows what I'll do after that happens. As of now, shouldnt the question be.. :"will anyone love me?" and I can't answer that because... I really dont know...

Ha. I really dont know.

And.. do i love him...? Should I...? Do I want to love him..? Oh my dear Lord, I'm confused again..