Campin' with the Best Block Ever.

I so love my block.

It's the only camp I've ever been to, so I have nothing to compare it to...but I couldn't have asked for any other people to have spent it with other than my most beloved block, LC20.

I'm still way to sleepy to recount every single detail, but in a gist of the events that occured in terms of the actual camp itself: Amazing Race (our team won 3rd place by the way--girl power!!!, congrats to Lawr's group for winning 2nd place!), Physics Magic, the Environmental Science thingy, tent pitching, Psychophysics, Light Show room thingy and the Shock and Awe thing. Anything else I forgot?

But, of course, like always, its the fun within and in between the activities that make the entire trip more memorable. The trip going there was exciting! we had starbucks and, yeah, Raech fell asleep--you're so nice, Raech, ah. XD so I left her to snooze and sat next to Kat for some one-on-one. hahahaha. then I switched with Alex again. Sat next to Arik--you're such a laugh-trip, Arik, but still so mean to me! hahahaha! Yeah, mean because he hit me with a pillow in the eye X_o, owes me 120 worth of starbucks (hehe, jk, libre nga yun eh!), and teased me nung gabi. nyahhahhaha. Yeah, fun...though, I didn't enjoy taking a bath in the tents -_-, it was still part of what made the trip memorable. We had fun in the amazing race, taking pictures and stuff, even pitching up the tents was fun--or maybe its because we won in our tent-pitching race against Kat and Justin (nyahahhahahahaha!)...but it rained on our tent so I guess they had their revenge. ahahha. We didn't sleep in the field though, like real camping would have been. it would have been raining and, hello, there were frogs. Disgusting. It was a treat being tablemates with all us girls and EmEm. We're his groupies. That's a lot... there was.. hmm... well... me, Kat, Phoebs, Raech, Siobe, Alex, Tiffy, Lana, Gellie, Biancs...mommy Twish was sometimes there. hehehehe. And EmEm, o'course. We lurve EmEm, he's just so adorable. ahahhaha.Of course, Raech's cam picked the perfect time to run out of battery and Raech had no adaptor (buy one, woman!) ahhahahha. Alex saved the day by having her trusty camera! so many nice concept pics...especially in Katrina street, aye? hehehehe. Yeah.. then, what else? We had a grand ol time during dinner and the fellowship night thingy. It was so hilarious to see all the people dissolve from one table to the other because...uhmm... yeah! XP It was so funny to the point that, we had to heed Lawr's desperate cry for help! So funny!!! Cute mo, Lawr, promise. There was so much LC20 spirit; that's because we were just (and still are) so "hott"! XD Party party! then we walked out of the really loud place (i was realy gettin' bored) with EmEm, Kat, Phoebs, Raech, Alex, Siobe, Tiffy, Biancs, Gellie, Lana and Arik--to the driving range where we were speaking in uber exaggerated British and Indian accents (kudos, Arik, to you and your amazing indian accent XD). Then because of our tent problem, we set up some blankets in an empty area outside of the tents. EmEm made readings for us (were those tarot cards? not sure what they're called). Mine was, well, I guess semi-expected. Nagshare na sakin si EmEm! XD yay! goal! next time, I won't imply so much--baka mairita ahahahahhaa. Ang kulit ni Justin!!! and wacky ni Nikki!!! Kulit ng tawa nila Jyane, Laine and Lych! Si siobe nagshare na din!!! For a while, everone was just playing card games and for EmEm, reading those gypsy cards and making interpretations--i was thoroughly impressed! Arik was soooo funny! Di mo malaman kung matutulog na or ayaw matulog, gising, inaantok or what! Tinuluan ni Laine ng alcohol, nagpanic na! ahahaha pabalik balik sa tent nila, di alam kung matutulog o hindi. Eventually, nakatulog na din sya. Sila Lych pumasok na ng tent nila, pero todo parin tawa. Kulit! XD Pero..eto na.. because of EmEm...ingay kasi ni Em, eh! Una, maingay dahil nagbubukas ng pagkain--nagising si arik and nikki. Nang nakatulog na sila ulit, ang ingay naman dahil nagsasalita--nagising si arik, nikki and justin. And then... well... yun!! Nagsymphony sya, super funny! that was, what? 4:30 plus??? I was somewhat drifting to sleep na sabay ganun! EmEm!!! ahahhahahaha! nagising kami lahat!!! Couldnt stop laughing! Arik naman di tumigil sa paghirit kay EmEm! XD okay lang yan EmEm! Love ka parin namin! Love na love yan ni Arik. at 5am...eventually! nakatulog na kaming lahat! For me, since galaw ng galaw si EmEm at di mapakali...di ko na sya nagin pillow! Si Arik nalang tinulugan ko ahahahahaha since ako din naman nagpatulog sa kanya. Pero somehow nadaganan ni Arik arm ko so nyay, numbnesssssss!!!!!! XD then i woke up na..5:30 am. Naks! Okay na yun!!! Pero, consequence of that precious bonding time...was...extreme lack of sleep. I think i was blubbering weird things to alex and kat na this morning. We were all asleep in the breakfast table. I slept in Mommy Twish's seat in the bus, slept the entire way back...we were all so sleepy. It was written on our faces "WTF I WANNA GO HOME AND SLEEP" ahahhahaha. So, I slept in the breakfast table, the bus, the ride home, the ride to the mall, the ride to marketmarket, the ride home, in my room, missed chruch, after dinner..and now i'm doing hmk for inthrop (darn you!!!) and then i'll sleep again. Hopefully by 5am tomorrow, i can take a bath without falling asleep, aye? XD

Grabe, I had so much fun. Even if it rained and there were icky frogs, some things I didnt like that might have spoiled the fun, and a thought that just won't die, its okay!!! I was with the hottest block there ever lived. I can't believe I'm so lucky to have been grouped with this bunch of people. I really cant imagine being anywhere else!!!!

I love you LC20, you so rock my world! XD *MWAH!*

Boy..

Gee..I don't know.

This has been some day.

First, I fail to transfer well my beautiful english essay, and i feel i wont get the grade i deserve for it.. that, and because i'm pissed at my doctor handwritting...

Then there is the pressure of crithin (gah, dont ask..)

And then all those people in yellow and orange (nyay.) don't get mad. but i got really dizzy. swear.

Then there was that $*#&*@!% debate in Inthrop.. which proved nothing except that.. I really don't want to debate.. nor am I ever going to be caught dead debating.. properly, at least. Darn that....

Then that darn conflict for the song to use for the wikakul project. yipee.. I did pay the price for having 2 days off from school.

And then there was a misunderstanding.

I dont know if I should act anymore, because i'm tired. I want to bum. I want to sleep. I want to then get up and find Happiness. And then I'll want to smile or laugh.. or sing, diba?

I just dont want to go through all those stressful stages again. I can't see it. I just can't see it. Why, why, why. At first i didnt know what to do, and now that I do something else pops up.. what, what , what what? I can't seem to be doing anything "right". gee, wheepee. yahaoo.

Things are still unclear and i'm not sure if i am oblidged to fix this.I'm sleepy. I dont see.

I dont see why this bad habit just wont go away. I do something and something comes and i just cant leave it alone or wont leave me? even if it is unclear to other people or they do not understand, i sometimes feel the obligation to explain and.. but no, I dont know. sleepy. Sleepy. it'll fix itself somehow.. i can just sleep and things will be clearer tomorrow. Whatever it is.. god.. i must be typing nonsense already. figures. I'm sleepy. basta.

God, I ask for guidance.. and good amount of sleep. Amen.

Well so much for that.. PE again tomorrow!!!!

Coupleseenophobia

***my Englcom reaction paper***

     An
average day for me would take place in only three places: my home, my school
and the mall. My usual dose of couple sightings are found in the latter two.
Couples are usually the first thing I see upon reaching school in the
morning—either cuddling in the elevators, holding hands in the corridors or
gazing into each other’s eyes in the amphitheater—and often the last thing I
see before hopping into the female section of the LRT and MRT. Sometimes when I
don’t happen to sit in the female section, I spot some couples in the regular
cars all smiles and all laughs. And doesn’t stop there! Upon reaching the mall,
where I am supposed to wait for my father to fetch me, I see them shopping for
clothes, sharing ice cream, and just plain walking around—while holding hands,
of course, and you just know: they’re a couple. When I meet new people,
sometimes the first thing they would as me is if I am in a relationship, and a
good share of them have responded to my answer of “no” with odd looks of
disbelief. So, may I ask, what were those looks about? And why do couples seem
to suddenly be infesting our society, with new ones sprouting every other day?
Why is it that being my single, suddenly, emits pity from those who are not?
Since when was a necessity to have a significant other? For me, I think this
pressure of having a boyfriend started when I was in my sophomore year in high
school. A friend and I had the same problem and we called it Coupleseenophobia,
a fake and made-up phobia, to describe the sad, jealous feeling we had when we
saw a couple. I thought, back then, that it had only been the two of us, but as
I soon discovered, we were not alone. It turns out that many other teenagers
experience the same “phobia”. And why is this so? It’s probably because of all
the media we are exposed to. There are so many books, TV shows and films in the
Romance genre that show and expose us to the feeling and pressure of having a
boyfriend or girlfriend. And, of course, we get hooked by it, wanting to have
something similar in our own lives as well. All around us are subliminal
signs that indicate that we teenagers must somehow be in a relationship to
either be in-trend with our peers, accepted in the eyes of our friends and
family, feel successful or beautiful or be happy; but I, however, believe that
those who think so are putting themselves up for disappointment, prove
themselves wrong or may just be digging into their own graves.

            This
pressure of having a boyfriend or girlfriend is based on myths that have got a
lot of people believing that having a significant other is the solution to
their problems. First, is the myth that having an exclusive relationship with
someone will make one feel secure. True? This is, most likely, not untrue;
especially with teenagers. Many individuals become so dependent on their
boyfriends or girlfriends that while their identity as a couple evolves, their
individual identities slowly diminish or are never even formed. Sure, it’s fun
in the beginning but a few months or even years after, if the couple breaks
apart, they would have spent so much time with each other that they wouldn’t
know where to start in living their own individual lives. Because most of their
time was devoted to the other, it would suddenly seem to them that they have so
much time on their hands and not know what to do with it, and instead of
putting it into good, productive use, they instead wonder about who they are
and trying to form their own identities in the world.

            Another
myth is the acceptability myth: that having a boyfriend or girlfriend would
make one seem more acceptable to their family and friends; that having a
significant other would not deem them as a loser in their eyes. If it is the
acceptance of people one considers close to them that they are after, there are
other ways to gain this acceptance; something that one can earn on their own.
Wouldn’t it be, in a way, using another person if one, say, gets a boyfriend or
girlfriend? Because the person in question wouldn’t be getting into the
relationship for the right reasons and only for the sole purpose of being
welcome or all right with his or her family and friends. Shouldn’t the real
question be why one’s family and friends have a pre-requisite for him/her to be
welcome among them? And it seems that nowadays “coupling” has become a trend
just because everyone else has one. It is almost like being in-trend with the
latest fashion, except in this case, one is in-trend at the expense of another
human being. It defeats the purpose of what a relationship is. This is probably
why most relationships nowadays don’t last for very long or do not end in good
terms—because the couple got together so fast without knowing the important
things that one bad factor immediately triggers the end of the relationship.
This is probably best illustrated with couples that get together over the
internet or through chat. Of course, they do not get to meet each other
personally, and over the internet, they are able to alter their personality to
other people. So, in effect, they never really get to meet the real personality
of the other, and when they finally do meet, the person is probably not who
they had been chatting with online. Being accepted by family, friends or
society shouldn’t be a reason of any couples getting together. They must think
of what each individual prioritizes, and not what other people think. Sometimes—and
it happens—that even if one finds a significant other they are still not
accepted. Possibly, this time, because of the personality or the impression
their boyfriend or girlfriend has displays to their peers and relatives.

            Reasons
of self-esteem are the third myth to why people seek an exclusive relationship;
especially in our society when it is the men or the guys that approach the
women or girls first. For girls, most believe that if they don’t have a
boyfriend, it means that no boys are attracted to them. By thinking that way,
girls lower their self-esteem and have less self-worth, and the more they think
about it, the deeper they sink. They will think that there is something about
them that is either unattractive or something they don’t have that is, and this
is where girls start getting desperate: being paranoid about their weight, what
they wear, how they smell and how they act around guys which are all very
exhausting and quite stressful on a day-to-day basis, and the same goes for the
boys. Both guys and girls will think that, just because they don’t have a
significant other, that they are never going to meet “the one” or will ever be
able to catch anyone’s eye. People feel that if they have some one to “call
their own” they have no purpose in the world. This sometimes leads to
over-pessimism, injecting negative thoughts in all aspects of one’s life, and
perhaps even depression, which is the cause of many teenage suicides all over
the world—probably the most dangerous effect this “phobia” or this pressure to
have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

            And
finally, the ultimate myth to Coupleseenophobia: having a boyfriend or
girlfriend will make one happy; that having an exclusive relationship with
someone would be the greatest, coolest thing on earth. There has been many a
person to fall for this myth already. In the beginning of a “relationship”, it
might be all hugs and kisses, and it would seem really amazing at first. But,
sadly, what most people don’t realize is that eventually, relationships take
work—especially for those who don’t get to see each other that often. Many
different couples have encountered so many different and, sometimes, unique
problems and obstacles when it comes to their relationships. Whether it
concerns time, distance, family, friends or maybe even jealousy, there are and
always will be challenges to over come. Some couples don’t foresee this in the
beginning of course; because they may be too blinded by the initial feeling
that being in a new relationship brings. Despite what pre-assumptions people
may have about being in an exclusive relationship, some side-effects may be
unavoidable. Just because one is “committed”, does not guarantee them good
grades, a happy family life or steady friendships; sometimes being in such a
relationship may even cause the disappearance of these. It may happen that,
later on, some couples feel choked around the other because of too much time
together. It may also happen that, for couples that don’t see each other often
or usually have different schedules, that they plan special things on specific
dates, but when those plans aren’t executed or fulfilled properly, it leads to
disappointment, evolves and may explode into a fight. And so, where has the
happiness gone? Like most things, after the novelty has worn off, people forget
why they wanted it in the first place, and the same may apply for exclusive
relationships.

            This
pressure of having a boyfriend or girlfriend is still very much alive in our
society. With new romance films and drama shows on television showing everyday,
it is not a surprise that many people, both teenage and those above twenty are
being coerced to find partners of their own. The term “single-hood” has now
been given a, somewhat, negative connotation; implying that if one is single,
he or she is not complete, accepted, beautiful, wanted, loved or happy. All
these myths have stabbed today’s society and is something nonsensical. Gone
were the days where a single person was free to walk around without having to
be looked at and possibly ridiculed for being un-attached, and the true purpose
of being in a relationship has been replaced by the need to be in the
band-wagon of one’s peers. Single-hood, contrary to many people’s beliefs, is not a curse, and it isn’t something
people should frown upon. There are so many things single people can do that
committed people can’t. There is so much liberty, freedom and enjoyment in
being un-attached, and the time alone should truly be relished. Someone with no
exclusive partner could easily make plans with their friends—people that they
probably don’t spend much time with if they were part of a couple—and single
people have the freedom to choose what they really wanted to do without having
to consult with someone else’s preference, calendar or schedule. No one needs
to worry about never finding a partner in the Big Picture of Life; because
there is so much time to find the person they can really spend their life with.
Just because someone is single, does not mean at all that it will last forever
and it will only last until it is the right time for one to have a relationship
that means more than just satisfying the myths. So one should just forget the
trends and forget what anyone else thinks. If you, dear reader, are single and
feel the pressure to find someone exclusive to you, don’t fret; because there
is so much more to life than wasting your time standing around and trying to
hitch a ride with someone that probably isn’t going to pick you up just yet.
People must realize that time stops for no one and waiting around probably is
not the best use of their time. They must keep walking to their destination,
and if someone happens to give them a lift along the way, then that is great.
At least they were able to get to some distance on their own without having to
depend on someone for the ride there. And to know that when one has a boyfriend
or girlfriend because they truly want
and because they are really ready for
the commitment—not to satisfy anyone else—is definitely the greatest myth
buster of all.

 

Mix Pix

but basically me and mah friends and LC20 :D

just FABulous

If it weren't for my afternoon gimick...if you can call it that...with my blockmates, Bianca and Raech, I probably wouldn't be as giddy as I am now. Well, I am, I guess. I was happy althrougout the day. I was having lots of fun taking pictures with my blockmates. We took the videos we needed for our Crithin report which, i have to admit, I'm getting really nervous about but I really REALLY hope it will turn out well... REALLY well.

Well, it started well enough. I got to school early and so i went to by Englcom classroom. I admit I was feeling kinda annoyed because I was hurrying to get to school (well, my dad hurried me to hurry) and I was annoyed that my bag was about to explode and that its zipper kept getting tugged off. To add to that, I forgot to charge my iPod again so for the second day, I had no music to listen to during Englcom, the one subject I enjoy. hahahaa. I love Englcom. i'm not sure i'm getting super duper high grades there, but I enjoy it a lot. I hope i'm not just fooling myself because our teacher is from CSA too. But i do enjoy it. Anyway, so we had to write our essay on a social concern. I chose the Pressure in Society on Having a Boyfriend/Girlfriend. it was alright. I was really disorganized so I decided that i'll do the entire thing over the weekend. That way, I can come up with a really REALLY good essay.

After that, it was off to la Casita as usual. Got a table and ate some food. Haha. After that dieting, I had to eat something that will be alright (although quite frankly i was more full with the diet food!) for me.. and then I took some pictures. We discussed our crithin video and blah... and we had crithin. well, before that i was having some fun with the pics and my blockmates, like i said. I teased EmEm.. and well, he teased me. We talked about the fab 5.. and apparantly we were all excited to see em. then we.. well, had crithin and the last of the fallacies and then got dismissed early. Damn, i'm so pressured by this report. its not even funny. I was bummed for a while. Then I had to be late for math because we had to take care of our crithin report.. we had trouble downloading the videos so it took a while...a long while... then we caught up for math.. and did some word problems.. interest.. gah. it was alright but i'd rather not have it you know? I wonder if there really are classes on monday...

then.. lunch.. we did filming in a room in the 7th floor and it was fun! i kept messing up and laughing but when we got it right, it was awesome! Theeen, Inthrop time. as usual, we had a grand 'ol time, if you know what i mean. Hahhaa! then now we have to do a debate and I am so not going to win that debate because I suck at debating.. if only i could ask someone to come up with arguments for me and then i could just memorize and recite! its about the ettiquite a little boy showed in the cafeteria in canada.. he was using a fork and spoon when he was supposed to use only one utensil.. weirdness, but that's the work to be done. Darn. Anyway, so after that..hmm

we went to EGI and shot some scenes in Little Marvel (i'm typing it down here to remember. hhahaa. so we can credit them later on) it was alright. I ate siopao after.. forgeting to NOT eat the paper that came with it.. dammit. HAHAHA. theeeen... it was off to glorietta with Bianca and Raech!

Once we got there, we were so excited. At first i thought the event was already over because there werent all that many people. I mean there were a lot, but as i expected.. a lot fo the other crowd didnt recognize just who was uip on the stage. We went up the escalator after finding out that we couldnt enter without any tickets or stubs... DAMMIT! hahaha so we went above them.. i took blurry pics of kyan ted and thom.. but heck, they were still good!!! Kyan actually waved at the people on the second floor because a girl in front of us was screaming his name... hahha maybe he got annoyed! :D I gave up on them looking up at us so we went to carson and jay's side of the stage. hahaha it was so much better there! we went down the escalator and then took pics...thank goodness for my zoooooom!!! :D i got loads of blurry and unblurry pics of carson, jay and various fans... but the amazing part was because of this one guy there.... aahhaa

he was on the stage, wearing a white polo.. i dont know what he was doing up there.. maybe a stage personnel on their side or something..but he was really goodlooking...maybe in his early or mid-twenties.. i thought that maybe it was a brother of one of the fab5.. but anyway.. he was just there while the fans took pics with the queers... but i took no mercy and took a pic of him.. coincidentally, the first pic i took of him, he was looking at me too. And my blockmate, bianca said that the guy waved at me.. he WAVED at me?? I looked at him and he still looking....took another pic.. NYAHAHAHAHHAHA. amazing!!!! he was soo gorgeous! i've never called a guy gorgeous.. but it was just so.. NYEEEEHEEEE!!!! :D

then after that they already had to go.. AWWW
so we went to the back to get in line in the backstage where the five were going to come out and head for the parking lot. the security had some blue rope to keep the fans away.. as if! hahah. bianca and i stood there in the middle of the long line but in the front so when they DID pass... I TOUCHED KYAN. nyahoooo!!! so happy! hehehe we couldnt take anymore pics because everyone was running.. they were running, i was running, they ran down to the parking stairs and I was just thinkning that, hell, i was CLOSE! hahahaha. it seemed so fun.. it was like, even if they were there, right before my eyes, it seemed surreal to me and at some point i thought my eyes were deceiving me that they were really there, you know?

This is my first celebrity encounter. So i was really star struck and I really loved the feeling of being close to people i only see on tv.. so its like.. if they're on tv.. part of me thinks that they're only fictional. so it was a real treat. another high. hahaha. it makes me want to meet Rupert all the more!!!!!!!!

so, all in all.. this day.. was just... FABulous!!!!!

just FABulous!!! the FAB5!!!

in glorietta July 21, 2006

LC20 July 21, 2006

LC20 June 20

Story Time

...a story best seen in slideshow view. hehehe...

Hymns of a Lost Soul

In my life, songs have been around for as long as I can remember. But I'm generally very picky with the songs I choose. This is perhaps because my lullaby was something different from the typical "Rock a Bye Baby" of other babies. My very first lullaby was "Eternal Flame" so I memorized the lyrics since I was 3. Go Figure, right? That's possibly why I'm more attached to songs similar to that or the reason why I listen very well to the lyrics of songs before I'm into them or why I don't have a particular favorite band. So, anyway, the title of this post is just for dramatic effect. I'm actually going to share the lyrics of some new songs I've discovered/listened to. I hope you like 'em. Don't be mislead by the lyrics. They don't indicate the feelings I have as of now, but I like them nevertheless.

The Rescue - American Hi-Fi

I wish we could back

to the beginning

cause there's something missing from your eyes.

We lost a lifetime

when I disappeared,

now I am coming back to you.



[Chorus:]

I wish I could fly, I know I can save us somehow.

You thought you were safe and sound but you need a hero now.

You gotta believe even with broken wings,

I've come to your rescue and you can't rescue me.



Summer's the season

but you're cold and freezing,

if there's a reason it's a lie.

When did I loose you,

I need you to pull through,

the weight of the world never felt so alive.



[Chorus x2]


Can't Let Go - Landon Pigg

Well youre the closest thing I have

To bring up in a conversation

About a love that didnt last

But I could never call you mine

Cause I could never call myself yours

And if we were really meant to be

Well then we justify destiny

Its not that our love died

Just never really bloomed



Well I cant let go

No, I cant let go of you

Youre holding me back without even trying to.

I cant let go

I cant move on from the past

Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.



And then we saw our paths diverge

And I guess I felt OK about it.

Until you got with another man,

And then I couldnt understand

Why it bothered me so.

How we didnt die we just

Never had a chance to grow.



I cant let go

No, I cant let go of you

Youre holding me back without even trying to.

I cant let go

I cant move on from the past.

Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.



And it might not make much sense

To you or any of my friends

Though somehow still you affect the

Things I do.

And you cant lose what you never had

I dont understand why I feel sad

Every time I see you out with someone new.



I cant let go

No, I cant let go

No, I cant let go of you.



I cant let go

No, I cant let go of you

Youre holding me back without even trying to.

I cant let go

I cant move on from the past

Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.



I cant let go

No, I cant let go of you

Youre holding me back without even trying to.

I cant let go

I cant move on from the past

..hmm.. i'll post the rest later on. I'm off to watch more FRIENDS.

I realized... I'm Rachel. I am so Rachel. Except for the I-date-a-lot-of-guys part.

This is what it is...

Anybody up for an ala-CSI lesson? Well great. Pretend I'm Katherine. I like Katherine. Though, no, think there is no murder or body, just an explanation. Alright? Alright.

Epilepsy is a
condition in which people have seizures or 'epileptic attacks'.
There are many different types of attacks, ranging from minor
symptoms noticed only by the affected person, to convulsions, the most easily
recognised type of epileptic attack.




Important facts about the attacks are:

• 
  where in the brain they start
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  how they spread
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  how much of the brain is affected.
  
  
  
  
  

Is it possible to divide the attacks into groups?





Sure. There are the Partial Attacks that start in a specific part of the white matter
of the brain (cerebral cortex). The starting point of the abnormal electrical
activity is called the 'focus'. During attacks, they can either stay
there, spread to the surrounding areas or eventually spread to involve the
whole brain. It is most important to determine the very first symptoms of
an attack, as this will indicate where the focus is.

There are the Simple partial attacks that are characterised by the sufferer being alert, awake and
knowing what is going on. These types of attacks are often called auras, especially when they progress to more severe
attacks.

It is an advantage for the person to be able to communicate
with those around them during the attack and, for instance, be able to tell
people that the attack is not dangerous and that it will stop by itself.

 
The Complex partial attacks are when the person loses awareness and is,
therefore, unable to communicate or remember what happened. It is often
preceded by a simple partial attack. Because awareness is lost the person may stare into space or
do automatic things like make chewing or lip-smacking movements, pick at
clothing or nearby objects or get up and wander around in a confused manner.
Attacks typically last a few minutes

And of course there are the secondary generalized attacks. When the attack spreads to involve the whole brain, the victim
will have what is called a secondary generalised tonic clonic seizure. This is
also known as a convulsion or grand mal attack.



Doctors currently prefer to use the term tonic clonic seizure
as it is descriptive of what happens during the attack: first the person goes
stiff (tonic) and then shakes (clonic).



Breathing may stop during the attack and the person's
skin may turn blue.



Shaking typically lasts one to two minutes, but can go on for
longer. When the shaking stops, it may be impossible to rouse the person for a
few minutes.



During attacks, people may be injured by falling to the floor.
They may bite their tongue or become incontinent.



During a tonic clonic seizure, it is important to remove all
sharp or heavy objects near the person, and to put them on his or her side in
the recovery position.


In fact, its was because of a Tonic-clonic seizure that I wasn't able to get any sleep last night. Yeap, it happened. About an hour after my brother and I's FREINDS marathon, I was woken up my my brother saying very loudly "DADDY!" and I got up and saw, well, the signs of the attack. Dammit, the one that scared me the most was the fact that we weren't able to prevent tongue bleeding... Dammit, I got up, turned our dad to his side. He was stiff, Goodness, was he stiff and wouldn't budge. I told my brother that I'd get the medicine downstairs and I ran like hell to the kitchen, but since we couldn't give him the medicine just yet, I just put it in the night stand. I grabbed the fan and aimed the air to my dad. My brother then took off to get a spoon from downstairs. We put it in his mouth, but, hello, his tongue was already bleeding at least it'll stop it from getting worse. I told my brother to get the cordless phone. But the stupid cordless, chose this very moment to piss me off. I grabbed my dad's cellphone and franticallly looked for the number of my grandmother's house. No one was answering so I called my aunt's cellphone instead. Yes, it worked and you wont believe my relief because that's when I started crying. She told me to calm down, that I was doing good so far. My dad still wouldn't stop shaking, but we were getting there. Then, what happened... my aunt said she'd call my uncle that lived nearest to us (in Libis), and so I hung up. My dad then stopped shaking, thank the Gracious Lord, and we got him to sit up. But he was so heavy and he was mumbling. I mean, he was saying words and he even talked in straight tagalog, but he just wasn't conscious about it. We got him to drink one medicine first and then another two when I was able to contact my mom. Yeah, I called my mom all the way in the States, in the middle of her lunch break. She said it was okay. Then the landline rang and it was my uncle. He talked to my dad. My dad was actually listening to what my uncle was saying (my uncle is his brother) and he was actually responding, I was beginning to think that maybe he was already conscious but then he said "eh, sino ba toh?" and that's when I saw my brother cry. And i've only ever seen my brother cry 1. when we were both very very little and 2. the first time we witnessed this attack three years ago and 3. when my mom left for the states. So, hello, really scared. Then we hung up but my dad wouldn't stop telling us to let him lie down. My aunt told us not to let him lie down so we had a hard time. The way our dad was talking to us, it was like he was really talking to us, but you know that its not reallly him, you know? Its like (and forgive me for saying this, Lord) talking to a mental patient in an asylum. They have no idea who you are and they keep begging to get some sleep. We turned on the TV and told him to watch, but how exactly do you tell and already unconscious person to watch TV?? So there, my uncle called and said he'd be coming over with my aunt. And they did. It was pretty fast too. I felt like one of those people in 911 who wait for the ambulance that just doesnt seem to want to come fast enough. They took care of my dad already while my brother and I talked to our mom on the phone. She told us she was proud that we had remembered all the stuff she told us to do if this had happened (which, doi, already did). My brother and I didn't stop crying right away. I guess we were too shaken up because we've never done this whole thing on our own. In the past, our mom was there and she took pretty good control. So, we felt alright. But doing this on our own... it was like preparing for a birth you know? Like, my brother and I knew that someday we would have to face this without our mom with us. And that was good, the preparation our mom taught us, because when it happened, although we were still scared, we knew what to do. So our adrenaline took over for the most part. When our aunt and uncle came, dude, I just had to get some sleep..I slept for at most 15 minutes, waking up every now and then. At around 4:20am my relatives left and told us to get some sleep. Our dad was already alright and sleeping. We apologized for waking them so early in the morning but they said it was alright and that we should call them anytime. So my brother and I went to bed, and I was so tired that the moment my eyes closed I was gone. But in the course of what was only 4 hours of sleep, my dad had 3 complex partial attacks I mentioned above. Those are the ones we see commonly and we just need to talk to him for him to relax. But so, yeah...now I have a headache and I just want to sleep...but I'm awake and my eyes wont close anymore (which is funny because my eyes are just like slits now).

Whew. I'm alright though. Prevention is the key. And I have to get my dad to see a doctor.
Smile, smile, smile. The bright side is that everything's alright now. Amen.

Unsolicited Tears

There's probably a limit to someone's tear gauge, why would I, otherwise, have teared up and sobbed for no apparent reason in the LRT station? Go figure why.

The day was normal enough, normal for me nowadays with my unexplainable, remarkable Mighty High. I woke up in my room (doi, where else would I be, I ask you?) and it started off pretty good because it had rained the night before so the room was cozy and cool--just the way I love it! It reminded me of those rainy weekends in a hotel when I was younger. I loved waking up in that hotel feeling! Anyhoo, so I got up, didn't turn off the dim nightlight and headed straight for the bathroom after finally hitting the "stop" button of my cellphone's alarm (i'm starting to hate that almost-ff7 battle theme music). I did my morning ritual of washing my face, brushing my teeth and what not, then I finally returned to me room to get into some clothes (doi). The initial plan I had with my girl blockmates (unless some guys were interested) was to wear a dress or skirt and I was, actually, already wearing one, but then somewhere along the way as any girl would have probably experienced already, I changed my mind and decided to wear something else--something that suited the gloomy whether outside! I know that if I had worn a skirt, I would have frozen up. Of course, there was my usual bout with my morning cold. Anyhoo! So we were off to CSA! I miss CSA, don't you? Then to Lasalle! I ate a siopao along the way--the sauce was cold so, no, I didn't enjoy it all that much. When I got down, I checked my phone to prevent that whole other day-morning ordeal from happening again! Wah! Then I was still early for englcom, woo! I love englcom, don't you? yeah, so I was early and my blockmates were really few! Ms. Mante was there, prompt as usual and frustrated as usual at the class ahead of us that still occupied the room. There was a bit of a contreversy that happened when the other class got dismissed, but that's something else, yeah? So, it was essay writing we go! I was a bit sad at the first part of the first draft that I wrote. I thought it made no sense whatsoever, but after re-reading it, organizing and turning off my ipod (i couldn't think because of the lyrics), I finally fixed it and wipee! Of course, that's just a first draft. I remember my blockmates saying the other day that I was "the adviser" because I was so good in helping people with their essays. Good gracious, i'm not that good, but I do have to admit that if its any subject that I'm good at, it's english. But, yeah, I finished it and went out... we went to La Casita on the 6th floor again and yeah I ate halo-halo! So sue me in buying it when it was already 20+ degrees outside. I wanted halo-halo! hahah! I felt the ice course through my veins so I was doubly cold which called for another jacket layer. So, yes, I was wearing two jackets of my blockmates. They said I was cute. Go figure once again. Haha. Then it was crithin time! Lately I've become so sleepy during crithin but i've now figured out why i'm sleepy! Because often, its so hot! This morning, it was cold!! I am alive in the cold so I was alive during crithin! But as a backup I had with me sudoku!! hehehe! Then we had to pick groups and then group topics for group reports and whoohoo we got advertising. yeah, no biggie for you but compared to the other topics (ie multi-level marketing, cults, etc) ours was great! Another good point for the day! Then, let's see, oh, it was math time after that! Quiz. Other than the sniffles I suddenly developed then, I was pretty happy with how the quiz went. Oh joy. Then lunch. Other that the fact that something didn't go according to plan, I still had a happy lunch with my friends and got to eat ice cream! Gah. Then it was Inthrop next. We had a quiz in there too and I think I got a 7. Not bad for someone who wasn't really listening to the lecture, aye? Then I cut it. Nyahahaha. Well not exactly, I asked permission first and, hello, she was gonna extend? beyond her alloted time? No, I don't think so. Hahahhaha!!! Then I met up with Chris and Micah at the conservatory. Imman was there and they had a photoshoot. I wasn't in the pics. Aww. But who cares! it was off to ayala! We went to the LRT and lo and behold that was where it happened. I guess maybe it was because I'm not used to having Chris around anymore that I was kinda off a bit. It was alright, really. But for some reason, I just couldn't get into what they were joking about. I mean, hello, I joke around all the time with Micah when commuting going home but yeah, something was off. No, Chris, its not you. At least, I don't think so, yet. Something. And I was trying to get myself to focus and get into the conversation you know so that I wouldnt get out of place. Then, boom, tear. I was "wtf, ello?". What's worse is that it didn't stop. I was so not crying, I had no emotion that triggered my sob. I was out in the air, so how could that have happened, right? I eventually got back in the conversation, but I kinda felt weird. Anything after that was back to normal.

But that really got me thinking. Why? Why did that happen? What made it happen? Who? Was it because I was happy? Sad? or...damn. Lonely? Lonely. Noohoohoohoohoo. Heh-who-hwah...why would I be that? How do I think or suspect its Lonliness? When I say the word, I breath in heavily. That's how I think Loneliness is the culprit. But then, why would I feel lonely and, of all times, with two people? Maybe its because of who I was with. They didn't do anything wrong, of course not. What's wrong with two people conversing in a..ahem..."unique" way? Nothing. So they didn't do anything. But maybe, its because its...them. Two of the four people I know that "have" someone. Unlike perhaps when I'm just with Raech, Raech and Micah, Raech Micah and Kringle, Raech Micah Kringle and EmEm, Micah or just with Kringle, I don't feel it because majority of the people with me are (including me) unattached. When I was with both Micah and Chris I just felt it. Felt it, oh so strong. Despite what their circumstances with their someone is, they are still "un-single" in essence. So I guess I just, hell, felt it. It was a sore reminder that I had I was single. Hey, as I told Kringle, there's nothing wrong with being single. But I felt left out among the three of us there today. But heck, why I suddenly felt that, is beyond me. I've been happy for these past two weeks, I didn't want to fall into the pit again. Seriously, no. Maybe its a balance that I need. Maybe that was why I felt semi-this way also yesterday when I was just with Raisa and Chris. Maybe I need a balance. Like... it should either be a one single to one attached, or two-singles and one attached for me to be alright, you know? Like, I can't be with two people who are part of a relationship at any one time for fear of being overwhelmed. Probably.

Or, I was thinking...more about my blockmates. Remember how I was saying that my blockmates said I was cute (or weird, for wearing two jackets) or funny or stuff like that? yeah, well, maybe it has something to do with that. I have fun with my blockmates because we all are in the "getting to know you stage" still and that they see a whole different side of me compared to when I'm with my high school friends. And I only do well with high school friends now on a one on one basis, or two on one provided that the majority are single. Hell, I don't know what's going on anymore. No sense once again. Shut up, Me, you're making no sense.

The good thing that caught me after that whole confusion was that I got to buy shirts in landmark! Woohoo!!!! Shirts and then I took a nice long bath when I got home! In addition to that, after this.. am watching FRIENDS!!! Horray!!!

And now Jobelle has recruited me for Causeffect's Creative committee. Oh joy! I get to be part of something cool! Yehey!!!!

And, yeah, Happiness contacted me and smacked another smile on mah face!!!! =)

the End of today's Rant.

Salamat, Hesus, At Biyernes Ulit. Shabu!!! and Amen.

Happy Weekend!!!!!


And here's the song now echoing in my heart:
"I'm so happy for you, I could cry.
Yeah, I'm so elated cross my heart and hope to die.
I don't think about you every night before I close my eyes.
I'm so happy for you baby I could cry."
- Happy, Saving Jane.

A Shocking Image

I witnessed a murder today.

And this isn't some way to just start my entry. I really did see it actually happen. I mean, I'm sure we've all been exposed to media, and surely we've all seen hit and runs. But really, I never thought I would ever witness something like it.

It's one of those cliches they've said about life. How it's too short to waste. Whether you're old or young, small or big, male or female, death strikes you and at any time it pleases. You've heard those instances where someone says "oh, I just saw that person a few minutes ago!" after they've been told of their death. It really is amazing how we just don't realize it until it hits us in the face, or runs someone over, whichever.

But it's true. Life is too short. If we don't spend every second of it enjoying and being happy, then we surely would just be wasting our lives. To those who are just loitering out in places, do something constructive and enjoyable! There's always a way, there really is.

It's ironic how this is coming from a person like me who, not too long ago, was probably the biggest pessimist in the whole entire universe, but people should seriously believe me now that I'm living on the brighter side of the world, hopefully my residence here would be permanent! I was thinking, you see, while commuting and walking around the campus. There would always be a moment where I would stop talking to whoever I'm with at the time and detached myself long enough to think of the things that have happened. No matter what bad things have happened, I still end up being happy. I really don't know how or why or even when my outlook started to change but it sure is a whole lot better. I found myself thinking, "Oh wow, a lot of crappy things have happened to me today, but hey look I'm still smiling. Awesome! Why is that?" Perhaps, I told myself, that it is a "why?" that should be left unanswered. I mean, c'mon! Why should you question something you like, right? It's like asking your parents why they'd buy you a new laptop or a new phone, you know? I guess that's how I'm starting to look at things now.

Say today...let's see...what potentially crappy things have happened?
1. upon arriving at school I immediately realized i left my phone in the car. Dammit.
(the save: I got to use a blockmates phone fast and my dad drove back to me. Yehey!)
2. i tripped, again, on the stairs going up to the 8th floor. yoohoo
(the save: no one saw me)
3. I fell asleep in crithin again. Dammit. I have no idea why that keeps happening!!!
(the save: I had sudoku to solve. Plus, I still understood the lecture)
4. I tripped again, going to Malate.
(the save: my instant reaction was laughing)
5. Malate meeting. I just didn't wanna be there then.I have to go to this criticisim session thingy!
(the save: I have a dance practice for my cousin's debut so I might have to skip that as official excuse)
6. I witnessed a murder. Dammit. Why, oh, why?!
(the save: ...this one had no save.)
7. long elevator lines again.
(the save: the elevator came down faster)
8. the inthrop classroom was hot. again. and I don't mean that in a cool way.
(the save: i laughed at the irony)
9. we had to do a stupid inthrop activity again.
(the save: it isn't due till friday)
10.lost my bag zipper.
(the save: its not that hard to open it without the zipper)
11.had physics. again.
(the save: dismissal next subject)
12. now, i'm sneezing again.
(the save: i drank some medicine already)

horray for dismissal time adventure and fun with Kringle. Amen.

See? I still look on the bright side of life! Amazing and fun, aint it? But, still, i'm sad and traumatized about the murder I witnessed. I saw the tire of the Cr-v go over limbs, body and head...it was horrific. And no, I do not mean that in a "that was so awesome!!!" way.... That was the first death I've witnessed...how do you get over something like that? To just understand and to accept that just a few seconds ago...living and breathing...I...can't...

well...that's life....




Rest in peace...


Sweet little white kitten. Though I only caught a glimpse of you today (and not a very pleasant glimpse at that) I still love you.

I pray. Amen.

And so...

onto week 2 of the effects of the Mighty High Smile.

the smiling ensues.

I shan't write no more as to prevent from jinxing it. Amen.

now...

just where did I put those F.R.I.E.N.D.S. dvds? I shall continue my marathon.

On a Mighty High

    A smile is something that can mean a lot of things in life. There are sad smiles, comforting smiles, sarcastic smiles, malicious smiles, and the, hello, happy smiles and they all mean different things to different people. Well for me, this entire week, it's been nothing but happy, happy smiles!
    It's true, I don't smile a lot, if at all. At least, it's something I don't notice myself. But since last Sunday, exactly a week from now, I started to get a mighty high that's sent me hurtling through every single thing in every single moment or every single day of this week.  No matter how bad the day could have gone, I still arrived back home with a big fat smile on my face.
    For example was last Thursday. I had PE then so I brought my PE bag. I was stressed enough the day before because I had to walk the entire area of the mall (SM to Glorietta to Rustans to Greenbelt) searching for a journal for Malate, my org. So anyway, when I got to school I felt ugly because it was PE again. I hated PE. Hate. Hate. Hate PE. With every fiber of my being, yes. Anyway, it was volleyball again and the quiz I studied for while doing the Malate residency with Raech (my blockmate), was cancelled and we had to have serving practical test instead. I suck at serving so I only got 2 out of 5. But I tell you, it was with rage that I served those balls. Anyway, during the practical test I had another escapade...same balony as last PE time. Dangit and thank goodness there are vendo machines around for emergency tissues! So yeah, after that it was wikakul and I was semi-envious of the video group 3 did for their group. I wanna do that too! Anyway! So after that it was english time. We  went via stairs. Again. Yey. And the prof wasn't even there when we got there. We could have just taken the elevator but noooo. Neehoo, after the last period, I went with Raech and Micah to the book binding center under the LRT over pass. I had it rushed so the fee had to be 150Php instead of 90Php. Then when I got to Ayala station, Micah and I were having so much fun with our social experiment. I then went to Mercury to buy coke--it was cheaper! then my dad texted saying that I had to buy blank asian map for my brother. I bought it then I went to Sm to wait for my dad. Then I realized that my PE bag wasnt with me. I ran back to parksquare one. First stop was the CR, nothing there!!!! the Janitress even got mad with me I think. After that I ran to mercury and hello there it was... GOOD!!!
    Then when i got in the car, I was really happy that I just couldnd't stop laughing!!!!! :D
    That's how happy I've been. No alcohol or drugs!So I'm reallly happy. No matter how many bad things happen.. I'm still happy. I love this!!

    Now if you dont mind, i'm sleepy because my friend had a party and i didnt sleep. Love ya!!