Because I can't see anymore

So I am officially wearing glasses. Well, okay, so it's not that official since it wasn't really a doctor that told me that I had to. Although, in all fairness, I was prescribed these glasses all the way back in the fifth grade, but seeing as I was in denial for eight years, I'm officially admitting it now. 

Actually, I've been wearing these things on and off for the past so many years. It was only this year however that I was starting to admit to myself that I had to, on the count of I couldn't really distinguish the "i"s and the "l" (L)s because the dot of the "i" seemed to fuse with the short stick-thingy which confused me and made me think that "toil" was "toll" which totally does not make sense. 

So, yeah, I'm wearing them now because it really does make my vision better and after a while I do kind of forget that I'm wearing them because I feel like it looked like my vision during all those years of astigmatism-denial. And it was only just recently, too, that I realized that when one has astigmatism, that they'd have to keep their lenses on the entire time, even if they weren't reading. So I've kind of been interchanging reading glasses and corrective lenses wrong. I'm not even sure if they're called corrective lenses. 

I don't know. I don't know if I look better with or without the glasses, although I do know that I feel much better with them. Yes, I am concerned whether I look good in them or not, certainly. 

But, chuknow, even if I do have these glasses on for most of the time now, I still get headaches a lot. Just this morning I think I had the worst one yet. It was strange because the area of pain was at the back of my head and it gave me the strangest vision of the back of my skull expanding to look like an alien's. Beats me. But then the other day was probably the most comical headache I've ever had, if not the most painful sting of one. 

It happened like this: I was working on a paper and I was thinking so hard that I think a vein burst in my brain somewhere because my temple started to throb really badly. But I was so into my work that I didn't exactly pay all that much attention to it. It wasn't until that I couldn't see properly anymore or think properly anymore that I decided I would drink medicine. So, I shouted at my brother to get it for me, as all elder sisters are destined to do. The problem was, I think he was so engrossed in his WoW gaming that I groaned really loudly. If you want something done right, really...

So instead of shouting at him to get medicine. I, in pain, got up and marched up to him. 

"I said get me medicine," I said.

"What?"

"I said--AAARRGH." At that point the very middle of my forehead hurt and it took both of my hands to try to put pressure on it so that it would go away. And, the stupid part was that, in my rush to hold my forehead, I kind of slapped myself in the face. Because of that, I was kind of glad that my brother still wasn't paying attention. Another funny thing was that, despite the pain, I was still nerdy enough to associate the entire ordeal with Harry Potter. In my head what was going on was "This must be what Harry feels like when Voldemort is trying to get into his head and his scar hurts". I was oddly happy about that. Though I think I might need more than ibuprofen to cure that part of me. 

I stood there until it died down, which was of course, being that I was in pain and time seemed to morbidly slow down to see my suffering, very very slow. By the time it subsided, I yanked up my brother and mumbled "medicine" and dragged him downstairs with me. In the end I got the medicine myself of course. So I kind of wondered why I took my brother with me. Ah, yes. I was afraid of being alone in the dark first floor of our house alone. So much for me being Harry Potter. Afraid of the dark indeed, yes.

And so yes, that kind of pain has been going on for a good few days now. Methinks it is because of all the work I've been doing. I don't regret it though. To be honest I was having loads of fun, although stressful fun, on working on my Marketing Paper. Something about being in school at night made me feel very accomplished, as if I was really working hard. I also really like it when I finish whole books. And, yesterday, I went to the library to start checking out books to research on for my thesis (as well as taking a look at some old theses as guides as well) and I felt strangely as if I really belonged in the library, all by myself. My friend told me I was turning into Hermione. Unfortunately, she is not my favorite person right now--not that she ever was anyway. 

Speaking of working hard, all this work has disabled me from creating some vlogs. Well, I kind of knew it was coming, although I won't hide my disappointment that I wish I was still able to make some despite being so busy. But all this working has held me back from sleeping well and I keep drifting off at odd times during the day. In addition, when I get home I collapse on my bed and wake up hours later and I, of course, curse myself to oblivion. But it's going to be better. For now, the pain is over. There will no longer be any more paper work for the worst subject ever which is Mass Media and I can relax a bit from reading Harry Potter.

Harry Potter-related--and I just have to get this off my chest before going back on topic because I'm afraid that I'll forget it if I don't--I was in a horrible mood yesterday because I didn't get ONE item during our Trivia Tryouts for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was so confident going into it and just within five minutes of the trivia tryouts I was already three-fourths done. I just needed who on earth the final auror was that had a single gold-hooped earring. I knew deep inside me that it was Kingsley Shacklebolt because of the movie that I had watched recently. But knowing that the Trivia Tryouts were based on the book, I scrambled to find that direct passage that stated his name and his description. It was in the Advanced Guard, I swear. But I read and re-read the passage four times, especially the part on Kingsley and it just wasn't there! I was panicking. Stupid Hermione got another thirty points for her house. And what was worse, I knew that my housemates were counting on me. Gee, they're not going to trust in me now, now are they? Darn it. It was not funny. I felt so close to tears when I couldn't find it. I KNOW it was Kingsley, but what if I was wrong. There were so many Aurors in the book...and it wasn't mentioned in the book, just in the movie...

FORGET IT. 

So yeah, I'll be working on my thesis now. There's going to be less reading to be done, hopefully aside from the thesis references I have to read up on and then basically just Marketing to worry about...

I was on a roll to say something about something else but the whole--and indulge me as I use Harry's word--fiasco about the Trivia Tryouts yesterday was overwhelming. People trusted me and I failed them. Its the thing I hate the most. Failing. Anyway, whatever. Off I go then.

Talking like Holden Caufield.

Hi All!

Apart from the fact that I was able to edit *part* of my newly revised thesis story, I actually didn't get to do much--well, not completely on the count of, I guess, that I *tried* to get things done.

For instance--and I guess I'll just start by recounting the stuff I did yesterday--the DOS at SDA Scriptwriting Seminar was a unique and awesome experience. So after I left the conservatory and walked that not-as-excrutiating-walk-as-I-thought walk from Main to the CSB-SDA building, I was feeling rather astonished at myself that I was actually going to a seminar, alone, for the first time since I've gotten to college. I think. And when I got there at the lobby, I was having reminiscent thoughts about when I first walked in that building, flanked by people--but this time I was completely alone. And I think that was awesome...in a weird, sad, lonely kind of way.

But so at the lobby the lady at the reception table told me that the Black Box theater was on the 6th floor and when I got to the 6th floor I was channeling my "tourist" spirit because I got lost. I waited for like, three minutes before this man with a walkie-talkie and a blue barong came along and I asked for directions, which were apparently posted on the wall--to my stupidity. So it was one of those moments that I was performing a soliloquy in my head, and I felt like one of the female protagonists in all those lovely Jdoramas that I watched--which was funny in my head because there was totally no one around that knew me and they all probably thought I was crazy on the count that I was grumbling to myself and looking around as if I've never seen white walls before.

So I got there and there were a number of people waiting outside--and eventually they started letting people in and I saw a friend of mine who introduced me to this guy that she had just met a few minutes earlier--which was cool because one of my personal goals was to meet people. We went in the Black Box--and I always thought that the name was just a fancy title, kind of like how they name bars and places like that--but I suddenly remembered what Professor Sangil said when sometimes you have to think "inside the box", in a way, and take things literally. It turns out, the Black Box...was, indeed, a very very very black box. If it hadn't been for the red heads that they set up in there, it would have been pitch dark--and I thought that that place was probably what the inside of Azkaban looked like. It was scary, I couldn't even tell where the very very cold temperature was coming from--it was like dementors were surrounding me. Then my friend told me that our thesis mentor told us to take down notes of the seminar and it might probably count as practicum hours. I was skeptical, but why the heck not, I was already there and all.

The seminar started and this elder man of about 55 or so introduced the main speaker of the seminar. The older man's name was awesome--his name was Don Jose Rodriguez-Rodriguez and he was the head of Institito Cervantes and he introduced the main speaker, Director Angeles Gonzales Sinde (who has written more films--around 13 to 15--versus the 3 films that she directed) who won Goya--which is what Don Jose Rodriguez-Rodriguez said to be the Spanish Oscars--for Best New Director for her La Buena Estrella. She looked nice, but as we were given scenes to actually direct and act in (darn--it was a workshop! not a seminar) we were all kind of thinking--well the group of people that took me in their group (sorry, I can only remember Micah, Thomas and Dan)--were all starting to think that Ms. Sinde was really hard core.

In anycase, we actually didn't get to do our scene on the count of she broke down the three scripts that went ahead of us--one of which was actually really cool seeing as the actors were great and the stories--which were also written by students--were equally awesome. There was actually this one guy there that reminded me horribly of someone I know and so I couldn't stop staring at him because they looked and moved and *sounded* so alike. I was starting to wonder somethi---anyway.

So DOS in SDA ended ar around 5:40, 40 minutes after it was supposed to end. And so I stood outside of SDA for a while...

And when I got home the first thing I did was, although I was sleepy, turn on my laptop to talk with my mom--oh and of course this was after I sleepily ate dinner--tinola (I cut my last session of Noli for the seminar, I hope the tinola wasn't a bad omen or anything). And together we worked on editing my sotry--which I still haven't finished the whole summary of and will do right after I type this entry seeing as I'm getting kind of detailed in telling this story...

And then I went offline with my mom at eleven o'clock because I was getting really sleepy but I still wanted to work on my vlog that I wasn't able to upload the day before with the cosplay pictures, that I couldn't upload because of the fact that my laptop is screaming "low on virtual memory" at me, when I know that Toshi (my laptop) is lying to me--I know for a fact that he still has 30GB left in him so why scream that to me, does he not like videos or something? In anycase, I decided to edit in the desktop instead and for some reason I can't delete the footage that I've captured on my laptop so that kind of sucks. And then I finished editing everything at around 12:30 and even then it wasn't done because I still had to render it and then compress it in Windows Movie Maker--which actually still hasn't happened because I lost my patience.

So instead I was fortunate enough to catch John Green live on blogtv--which was awesome because it was live,duh, and he read the entire prologue of Paper Towns which he actually already did in a Brotherhood2.0 video but it was fun to watch anyway. I was only in the waiting room with about a hundred more Nerdfighters but I couldn't get in. Then John said that nerimon was watching his show at that moment from the main room and he was having a show right after his so instead of waiting around to get in the main room which I know would never happen, I went over to nerimons blogtv channel instead where I was lucky enought to get IN the main room. Then he played a couple of his Trock songs with their band which was cool because I've never heard any of their songs and listening was very cool indeed--I joined in on the chat and he actually read my message about never having heard any Trock song before--and that was pretty awesome. Really. He was with his girlfriend too, the mysterious girlfriend that John (Jean, I mean you) and I have not seen until yesterday (not at the same time though)--and so I sent John (Jean, I still mean you) and email containing some pictures to show her.

So anyway, nerimon also continued reading Paper Towns from where John (and this time I mean John Green) left off--meaning he read Chapter One and it took 40 minutes, according to him when he was done. I was shocked because by this time I checked the clock and it was already 2:30am. I kind of cursed--albeit softly and quickly said goodbye and went off to bed. But of course, this wasn't before I was able to make a video to show that I was actually hearing nerimon live. HAHA.

I'm going to end here now because my mom is now online so we can finish talking about my thesis summary which I hope my mentor will read today--and hopefully approve, but I've prayed for it. And then I'll be off to class in like 30 minutes. I'm currently sitting in the cybernook of our library--and thats a place where there are computers for the students to use--and this term I've been spending a heck of a lot of time here.

Anyway, after class I'll just be heading home, straight away and watching Harry Potter movies--of course, that is after I take an hour long nap to catch up on sleep.


And then of course I will attempt, for the third time, to upload that cosplay video from Sunday's big day. Darn it, please upload this time.

Nerimon: Byyyeeee~

P.S. In reference to my blog title, I suggest to type in "Catcher in the Rye" to find out who Holden Caufield is, because if were really him and you didn't know who he was, he'd say "i don't really give a crap if they know me or not--its not like i'm some big-shot, steriod-pumped, chisled-jaw, no brained ass anyway." And that would mean, you've been PWNED.

P.P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, KAT! I would have said it sooner but I've been having memory problems lately.

YouTube failed, so this is what I did.

More randomness

Jean slept with me >:D

Pluck them vain pictures now, John. hahaha! I know you've been dying to display it to the world!

My brother didn't upload MY vain pictures. Talunin kita, John. xD