January 10th, 2007. Tis the third day of the new term. Alex and I are counting down until summer vacation.
85 more days. Mabilis lang yan, kala mo? haha.
Today was a short day because my dismissal was 12:40pm. However, even if the day is short, I still did a lot. This is due to my four classes in a row from 8:10-12:40pm. This is good, still, though because I've realized something...
This entry is actually somewhat ironic. It is because in HumaLit we were talking about Epiphanies. And here I am, a few hours later, actually having one. There are a few, actually and one among them is that for some strange cosmic reason that is greater than myself, I am itching to study. I know this has happened in variations a few times over High School. New quarter, new topics, new slate so I always start so on the top of my game. Same goes for every new school year. But in High School, after a while, that enthusiasm goes away. It takes only about a week or so for me to realize that it's not all that exciting and not all that easy to be always trying your best. I wondered before how on earth I was able to manage such amazing grades in freshman year. But now, its different. I've been itching to take notes, lecture, recite, do projects when the first day began. And when we finally started a lecture this morning in Inpsyco, my hand went nuts scribbling down notes, even with the assurance of Summaries by Sir Ron. I don't know. It's sort of different. Perhaps because it's college and that these subjects wont last me that long. After 85 days, it will be a whole new set of subjects (not just topics) entirely. That's different from high school. Physics does get tiring after 10 months, but how many times in a lifetime do you get to study Speech, Badminton, Literature and Psychology in a lifetime? In my course? Rare. And unlike Intglos, Chem and Inthrop from before, these subjects i'm taking now are WAY into my interest zones. And like I had written down as my Positive in Filkomu (is this another coincidence?), when I am given something that interests me, I am IN. As IN. IN. So, you know, I just realized that this may be my chance to really get high grades because they are subjects I love. It's just got to garner me a high grade, you know? I mean, for the first time in a LONG time, I'm actually NOT procrastinating. Is this too good to be true? My gosh!
Another epiphany: I miss Phoebe and Raech!! We have 2 subjects together. Two. JUST TWO. And this is sad because Phoebe is the comic of the group and there are never any silences with Phoebe, now there are some. Haha. Raech, well, its obvious why I miss Raech (wushu, flattered ka naman dyan, Lemur!) because I'm with her all the time! It's a flashback waiting to happen. But yun, we arent complete most of the time any more. But despite that, there are still good things this term. I get to be classmates with a whole bunch of other people! NO, i dont mean the totally random people that we are now thrown in with, I'm talking about CSA loves! hahaha. I get to be classmates with Ice, Enzo, Marc.. MIDI and MICAH!!! See, they're all people I havent been classmates with in SO LONG. With me, Midi and Micah, its been 6 years! Hoohah! :) I'm so happy because I can still enjoy my classes somehow even if Raech and Phoebe arent there... :( (deserters!! haha!) I just feel that somehow, even if it's only been 8 months, (only?!?!?! haha!) I've gotten so used to having them around that it just feels totally weird without them! What more if ever Alex, Kat, Siobe and I get separated!?! I can't bare it! haha. I've gotten through so much of college so far with them. I'm eternally grateful, actually! I'm like Kat! Eternally grateful! I have so many great friends. I love them!
Last epiphany. I'm not exactly sure how to explain this or even to verbalize it. It's just so weird to be talking about it openly...wait. No, I can't. It'll have to be somewhat vague. Anyway, I realized today that there was something empty. And I had told myself that it was the absence of Raech and Phoebe but its the absence of someone else as well. It's been weird. For some reason I now find myself getting tongue-tied and strange. I wonder if the thought ever comes in his mind or if he's ever thought of it at all. It's like, somehow, nothing even happened. I'm not exactly sure if that's what I had bargained for. But I guess, its better than nothing and having the worst-case scenario happening. This is bothering me most of all. I can't help but think sometimes if I ruined it. If it's my fault or he's doing something that I can't know or don't know. Its hard especially with us all being busy again. I'm thinking if I'll still be able to restore whatever it is that I had touched or moved or broken. its mushy, but I read through my old diary and I think its safe to say that no one has ever made me so happy ever (that I was able to record, anyway). Its such a loss to lose something with something between you two that you cant even state or begin to describe, exists or not... hehe... its just so confusing for me. I wish that it could be talked about but it doesnt seem likely. the Epiphany? I don't wanna lose that person because it seems that I might.
85 more days. Mabilis lang yan, kala mo? haha.
Today was a short day because my dismissal was 12:40pm. However, even if the day is short, I still did a lot. This is due to my four classes in a row from 8:10-12:40pm. This is good, still, though because I've realized something...
This entry is actually somewhat ironic. It is because in HumaLit we were talking about Epiphanies. And here I am, a few hours later, actually having one. There are a few, actually and one among them is that for some strange cosmic reason that is greater than myself, I am itching to study. I know this has happened in variations a few times over High School. New quarter, new topics, new slate so I always start so on the top of my game. Same goes for every new school year. But in High School, after a while, that enthusiasm goes away. It takes only about a week or so for me to realize that it's not all that exciting and not all that easy to be always trying your best. I wondered before how on earth I was able to manage such amazing grades in freshman year. But now, its different. I've been itching to take notes, lecture, recite, do projects when the first day began. And when we finally started a lecture this morning in Inpsyco, my hand went nuts scribbling down notes, even with the assurance of Summaries by Sir Ron. I don't know. It's sort of different. Perhaps because it's college and that these subjects wont last me that long. After 85 days, it will be a whole new set of subjects (not just topics) entirely. That's different from high school. Physics does get tiring after 10 months, but how many times in a lifetime do you get to study Speech, Badminton, Literature and Psychology in a lifetime? In my course? Rare. And unlike Intglos, Chem and Inthrop from before, these subjects i'm taking now are WAY into my interest zones. And like I had written down as my Positive in Filkomu (is this another coincidence?), when I am given something that interests me, I am IN. As IN. IN. So, you know, I just realized that this may be my chance to really get high grades because they are subjects I love. It's just got to garner me a high grade, you know? I mean, for the first time in a LONG time, I'm actually NOT procrastinating. Is this too good to be true? My gosh!
Another epiphany: I miss Phoebe and Raech!! We have 2 subjects together. Two. JUST TWO. And this is sad because Phoebe is the comic of the group and there are never any silences with Phoebe, now there are some. Haha. Raech, well, its obvious why I miss Raech (wushu, flattered ka naman dyan, Lemur!) because I'm with her all the time! It's a flashback waiting to happen. But yun, we arent complete most of the time any more. But despite that, there are still good things this term. I get to be classmates with a whole bunch of other people! NO, i dont mean the totally random people that we are now thrown in with, I'm talking about CSA loves! hahaha. I get to be classmates with Ice, Enzo, Marc.. MIDI and MICAH!!! See, they're all people I havent been classmates with in SO LONG. With me, Midi and Micah, its been 6 years! Hoohah! :) I'm so happy because I can still enjoy my classes somehow even if Raech and Phoebe arent there... :( (deserters!! haha!) I just feel that somehow, even if it's only been 8 months, (only?!?!?! haha!) I've gotten so used to having them around that it just feels totally weird without them! What more if ever Alex, Kat, Siobe and I get separated!?! I can't bare it! haha. I've gotten through so much of college so far with them. I'm eternally grateful, actually! I'm like Kat! Eternally grateful! I have so many great friends. I love them!
Last epiphany. I'm not exactly sure how to explain this or even to verbalize it. It's just so weird to be talking about it openly...wait. No, I can't. It'll have to be somewhat vague. Anyway, I realized today that there was something empty. And I had told myself that it was the absence of Raech and Phoebe but its the absence of someone else as well. It's been weird. For some reason I now find myself getting tongue-tied and strange. I wonder if the thought ever comes in his mind or if he's ever thought of it at all. It's like, somehow, nothing even happened. I'm not exactly sure if that's what I had bargained for. But I guess, its better than nothing and having the worst-case scenario happening. This is bothering me most of all. I can't help but think sometimes if I ruined it. If it's my fault or he's doing something that I can't know or don't know. Its hard especially with us all being busy again. I'm thinking if I'll still be able to restore whatever it is that I had touched or moved or broken. its mushy, but I read through my old diary and I think its safe to say that no one has ever made me so happy ever (that I was able to record, anyway). Its such a loss to lose something with something between you two that you cant even state or begin to describe, exists or not... hehe... its just so confusing for me. I wish that it could be talked about but it doesnt seem likely. the Epiphany? I don't wanna lose that person because it seems that I might.
BOOKLIST UPDATE:
As of January 6, 2007:
1. Coversations with the Fat Girl - Liza Palmer
2. If You Could See Me Now - Cecilia Ahern
3. Midnight Pearls: A Retelling of "The Little Mermaid" - Debbie Viguie
4. Snow: A Retelling of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" - Tracy Lynn
5. Jonthan Strange and Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke\
Done. Next Book: The Supernatualist by Eilon Colfer
aww, u'll do good mish :) mishoo!!
ReplyDeletemishie!! haha. good luck this third term. and like what raech said, you'll do good!! haha. i saw you writing down notes that first day we had inpsyco lectures! 80++ days more to go. :D
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