The day was normal enough, normal for me nowadays with my unexplainable, remarkable Mighty High. I woke up in my room (doi, where else would I be, I ask you?) and it started off pretty good because it had rained the night before so the room was cozy and cool--just the way I love it! It reminded me of those rainy weekends in a hotel when I was younger. I loved waking up in that hotel feeling! Anyhoo, so I got up, didn't turn off the dim nightlight and headed straight for the bathroom after finally hitting the "stop" button of my cellphone's alarm (i'm starting to hate that almost-ff7 battle theme music). I did my morning ritual of washing my face, brushing my teeth and what not, then I finally returned to me room to get into some clothes (doi). The initial plan I had with my girl blockmates (unless some guys were interested) was to wear a dress or skirt and I was, actually, already wearing one, but then somewhere along the way as any girl would have probably experienced already, I changed my mind and decided to wear something else--something that suited the gloomy whether outside! I know that if I had worn a skirt, I would have frozen up. Of course, there was my usual bout with my morning cold. Anyhoo! So we were off to CSA! I miss CSA, don't you? Then to Lasalle! I ate a siopao along the way--the sauce was cold so, no, I didn't enjoy it all that much. When I got down, I checked my phone to prevent that whole other day-morning ordeal from happening again! Wah! Then I was still early for englcom, woo! I love englcom, don't you? yeah, so I was early and my blockmates were really few! Ms. Mante was there, prompt as usual and frustrated as usual at the class ahead of us that still occupied the room. There was a bit of a contreversy that happened when the other class got dismissed, but that's something else, yeah? So, it was essay writing we go! I was a bit sad at the first part of the first draft that I wrote. I thought it made no sense whatsoever, but after re-reading it, organizing and turning off my ipod (i couldn't think because of the lyrics), I finally fixed it and wipee! Of course, that's just a first draft. I remember my blockmates saying the other day that I was "the adviser" because I was so good in helping people with their essays. Good gracious, i'm not that good, but I do have to admit that if its any subject that I'm good at, it's english. But, yeah, I finished it and went out... we went to La Casita on the 6th floor again and yeah I ate halo-halo! So sue me in buying it when it was already 20+ degrees outside. I wanted halo-halo! hahah! I felt the ice course through my veins so I was doubly cold which called for another jacket layer. So, yes, I was wearing two jackets of my blockmates. They said I was cute. Go figure once again. Haha. Then it was crithin time! Lately I've become so sleepy during crithin but i've now figured out why i'm sleepy! Because often, its so hot! This morning, it was cold!! I am alive in the cold so I was alive during crithin! But as a backup I had with me sudoku!! hehehe! Then we had to pick groups and then group topics for group reports and whoohoo we got advertising. yeah, no biggie for you but compared to the other topics (ie multi-level marketing, cults, etc) ours was great! Another good point for the day! Then, let's see, oh, it was math time after that! Quiz. Other than the sniffles I suddenly developed then, I was pretty happy with how the quiz went. Oh joy. Then lunch. Other that the fact that something didn't go according to plan, I still had a happy lunch with my friends and got to eat ice cream! Gah. Then it was Inthrop next. We had a quiz in there too and I think I got a 7. Not bad for someone who wasn't really listening to the lecture, aye? Then I cut it. Nyahahaha. Well not exactly, I asked permission first and, hello, she was gonna extend? beyond her alloted time? No, I don't think so. Hahahhaha!!! Then I met up with Chris and Micah at the conservatory. Imman was there and they had a photoshoot. I wasn't in the pics. Aww. But who cares! it was off to ayala! We went to the LRT and lo and behold that was where it happened. I guess maybe it was because I'm not used to having Chris around anymore that I was kinda off a bit. It was alright, really. But for some reason, I just couldn't get into what they were joking about. I mean, hello, I joke around all the time with Micah when commuting going home but yeah, something was off. No, Chris, its not you. At least, I don't think so, yet. Something. And I was trying to get myself to focus and get into the conversation you know so that I wouldnt get out of place. Then, boom, tear. I was "wtf, ello?". What's worse is that it didn't stop. I was so not crying, I had no emotion that triggered my sob. I was out in the air, so how could that have happened, right? I eventually got back in the conversation, but I kinda felt weird. Anything after that was back to normal.
But that really got me thinking. Why? Why did that happen? What made it happen? Who? Was it because I was happy? Sad? or...damn. Lonely? Lonely. Noohoohoohoohoo. Heh-who-hwah...why would I be that? How do I think or suspect its Lonliness? When I say the word, I breath in heavily. That's how I think Loneliness is the culprit. But then, why would I feel lonely and, of all times, with two people? Maybe its because of who I was with. They didn't do anything wrong, of course not. What's wrong with two people conversing in a..ahem..."unique" way? Nothing. So they didn't do anything. But maybe, its because its...them. Two of the four people I know that "have" someone. Unlike perhaps when I'm just with Raech, Raech and Micah, Raech Micah and Kringle, Raech Micah Kringle and EmEm, Micah or just with Kringle, I don't feel it because majority of the people with me are (including me) unattached. When I was with both Micah and Chris I just felt it. Felt it, oh so strong. Despite what their circumstances with their someone is, they are still "un-single" in essence. So I guess I just, hell, felt it. It was a sore reminder that I had I was single. Hey, as I told Kringle, there's nothing wrong with being single. But I felt left out among the three of us there today. But heck, why I suddenly felt that, is beyond me. I've been happy for these past two weeks, I didn't want to fall into the pit again. Seriously, no. Maybe its a balance that I need. Maybe that was why I felt semi-this way also yesterday when I was just with Raisa and Chris. Maybe I need a balance. Like... it should either be a one single to one attached, or two-singles and one attached for me to be alright, you know? Like, I can't be with two people who are part of a relationship at any one time for fear of being overwhelmed. Probably.
Or, I was thinking...more about my blockmates. Remember how I was saying that my blockmates said I was cute (or weird, for wearing two jackets) or funny or stuff like that? yeah, well, maybe it has something to do with that. I have fun with my blockmates because we all are in the "getting to know you stage" still and that they see a whole different side of me compared to when I'm with my high school friends. And I only do well with high school friends now on a one on one basis, or two on one provided that the majority are single. Hell, I don't know what's going on anymore. No sense once again. Shut up, Me, you're making no sense.
The good thing that caught me after that whole confusion was that I got to buy shirts in landmark! Woohoo!!!! Shirts and then I took a nice long bath when I got home! In addition to that, after this.. am watching FRIENDS!!! Horray!!!
And now Jobelle has recruited me for Causeffect's Creative committee. Oh joy! I get to be part of something cool! Yehey!!!!
And, yeah, Happiness contacted me and smacked another smile on mah face!!!! =)
the End of today's Rant.
Salamat, Hesus, At Biyernes Ulit. Shabu!!! and Amen.
Happy Weekend!!!!!
And here's the song now echoing in my heart:
"I'm so happy for you, I could cry.
Yeah, I'm so elated cross my heart and hope to die.
I don't think about you every night before I close my eyes.
I'm so happy for you baby I could cry."
- Happy, Saving Jane.
aaw... I'm sorry. :(
ReplyDeletedude, forget it. there are worse things.
ReplyDelete