Because I can't see anymore

So I am officially wearing glasses. Well, okay, so it's not that official since it wasn't really a doctor that told me that I had to. Although, in all fairness, I was prescribed these glasses all the way back in the fifth grade, but seeing as I was in denial for eight years, I'm officially admitting it now. 

Actually, I've been wearing these things on and off for the past so many years. It was only this year however that I was starting to admit to myself that I had to, on the count of I couldn't really distinguish the "i"s and the "l" (L)s because the dot of the "i" seemed to fuse with the short stick-thingy which confused me and made me think that "toil" was "toll" which totally does not make sense. 

So, yeah, I'm wearing them now because it really does make my vision better and after a while I do kind of forget that I'm wearing them because I feel like it looked like my vision during all those years of astigmatism-denial. And it was only just recently, too, that I realized that when one has astigmatism, that they'd have to keep their lenses on the entire time, even if they weren't reading. So I've kind of been interchanging reading glasses and corrective lenses wrong. I'm not even sure if they're called corrective lenses. 

I don't know. I don't know if I look better with or without the glasses, although I do know that I feel much better with them. Yes, I am concerned whether I look good in them or not, certainly. 

But, chuknow, even if I do have these glasses on for most of the time now, I still get headaches a lot. Just this morning I think I had the worst one yet. It was strange because the area of pain was at the back of my head and it gave me the strangest vision of the back of my skull expanding to look like an alien's. Beats me. But then the other day was probably the most comical headache I've ever had, if not the most painful sting of one. 

It happened like this: I was working on a paper and I was thinking so hard that I think a vein burst in my brain somewhere because my temple started to throb really badly. But I was so into my work that I didn't exactly pay all that much attention to it. It wasn't until that I couldn't see properly anymore or think properly anymore that I decided I would drink medicine. So, I shouted at my brother to get it for me, as all elder sisters are destined to do. The problem was, I think he was so engrossed in his WoW gaming that I groaned really loudly. If you want something done right, really...

So instead of shouting at him to get medicine. I, in pain, got up and marched up to him. 

"I said get me medicine," I said.

"What?"

"I said--AAARRGH." At that point the very middle of my forehead hurt and it took both of my hands to try to put pressure on it so that it would go away. And, the stupid part was that, in my rush to hold my forehead, I kind of slapped myself in the face. Because of that, I was kind of glad that my brother still wasn't paying attention. Another funny thing was that, despite the pain, I was still nerdy enough to associate the entire ordeal with Harry Potter. In my head what was going on was "This must be what Harry feels like when Voldemort is trying to get into his head and his scar hurts". I was oddly happy about that. Though I think I might need more than ibuprofen to cure that part of me. 

I stood there until it died down, which was of course, being that I was in pain and time seemed to morbidly slow down to see my suffering, very very slow. By the time it subsided, I yanked up my brother and mumbled "medicine" and dragged him downstairs with me. In the end I got the medicine myself of course. So I kind of wondered why I took my brother with me. Ah, yes. I was afraid of being alone in the dark first floor of our house alone. So much for me being Harry Potter. Afraid of the dark indeed, yes.

And so yes, that kind of pain has been going on for a good few days now. Methinks it is because of all the work I've been doing. I don't regret it though. To be honest I was having loads of fun, although stressful fun, on working on my Marketing Paper. Something about being in school at night made me feel very accomplished, as if I was really working hard. I also really like it when I finish whole books. And, yesterday, I went to the library to start checking out books to research on for my thesis (as well as taking a look at some old theses as guides as well) and I felt strangely as if I really belonged in the library, all by myself. My friend told me I was turning into Hermione. Unfortunately, she is not my favorite person right now--not that she ever was anyway. 

Speaking of working hard, all this work has disabled me from creating some vlogs. Well, I kind of knew it was coming, although I won't hide my disappointment that I wish I was still able to make some despite being so busy. But all this working has held me back from sleeping well and I keep drifting off at odd times during the day. In addition, when I get home I collapse on my bed and wake up hours later and I, of course, curse myself to oblivion. But it's going to be better. For now, the pain is over. There will no longer be any more paper work for the worst subject ever which is Mass Media and I can relax a bit from reading Harry Potter.

Harry Potter-related--and I just have to get this off my chest before going back on topic because I'm afraid that I'll forget it if I don't--I was in a horrible mood yesterday because I didn't get ONE item during our Trivia Tryouts for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was so confident going into it and just within five minutes of the trivia tryouts I was already three-fourths done. I just needed who on earth the final auror was that had a single gold-hooped earring. I knew deep inside me that it was Kingsley Shacklebolt because of the movie that I had watched recently. But knowing that the Trivia Tryouts were based on the book, I scrambled to find that direct passage that stated his name and his description. It was in the Advanced Guard, I swear. But I read and re-read the passage four times, especially the part on Kingsley and it just wasn't there! I was panicking. Stupid Hermione got another thirty points for her house. And what was worse, I knew that my housemates were counting on me. Gee, they're not going to trust in me now, now are they? Darn it. It was not funny. I felt so close to tears when I couldn't find it. I KNOW it was Kingsley, but what if I was wrong. There were so many Aurors in the book...and it wasn't mentioned in the book, just in the movie...

FORGET IT. 

So yeah, I'll be working on my thesis now. There's going to be less reading to be done, hopefully aside from the thesis references I have to read up on and then basically just Marketing to worry about...

I was on a roll to say something about something else but the whole--and indulge me as I use Harry's word--fiasco about the Trivia Tryouts yesterday was overwhelming. People trusted me and I failed them. Its the thing I hate the most. Failing. Anyway, whatever. Off I go then.