Do you know how, when you're alone, sometimes you get to day dream and imagine all sorts of things that can either blend into your present reality or the greatest fantasy?
I get that a lot. I do that a lot. This is primarily why I don't mind being alone and too early for class on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I get to do such things. I also don't mind commuting or walking alone in the mall because my thoughts keep me company.
However, I think we've all heard the saying "too much of something good may be and can be bad". Just like too much Baguio Beans can raise your uric acid, too much day dreaming and imagination may just kill me one day if I do not, someday, tear it away from my system.
Why tear it? Because some fantasies consume me. These fantasies and thoughts, though calming and pleasant will only bring me bitterness and disappointment whenever I crash back down to earth. I snap back into reality and then realize that everything I had just "gone through" in the past few hours was nothing but the fantasy I made up and chose to believe as reality in my head.
This is how I condition myself to lie. Well, when I do lie, even the tiny ones I chose to input into my brain as something that really happened so that I will believe it as reality and then I wouldn't be lying anymore. I, however, cannot do that with everything in my life. Even if I would love to just leave everything of the present to jump into the world I've built within my head, I can't. Because this is reality. This is my life.
My life is as it is. And make no mistake, nothing in my life is wrong or boring. There is just something... something crucial that is missing. Whatever it is, is the reason I still continue to imagine the things I do.
Even if they make me happy and ecstatic beyond belief, these dreams can not stay in my head any longer. If i let them continue to reside in my mind, I'd probably go crazy.
How do I stop myself from being overimaginitive? Simple, I look at myself in the mirror. I then feel my world coming down. I hear glass breaking and all I see is the reality of who I am. It's hard, but I totally want to accept that now.
After all, its better to be in a world full of fools (no offense. i'm just saying that my world is perfect kasi in my imagination) than a fool in a full world.
Good night. :)
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